This is a title=

A new picture for the day--how is this for a change

This is post #3 with a revision and new publishing

His Needs Her Needs: 10 Emotional Needs in Marriages

All information adapted from Dr. Willard Harley Jr.’s book,
His Needs Her Needs: Building an Affair-Proof Marriage (Fleming H. Revell: 2001)

1. Affection: Showing love through words, cards, gifts, hugs, kisses, and courtesies; creating an environment that clearly and repeatedly expresses love.

2. Sexual Fulfillment: A sexual relationship that brings out a predictably enjoyable sexual response in both of you that is frequent enough for both of you.

3. Conversation: Talking about events of the day, feelings, and plans; avoiding angry or judgmental statements or dwelling on past mistakes; showing interest in your favorite topics of conversation; balancing conversation; using it to inform, investigate, and understand you; and giving you undivided attention.

4. Recreational Companionship: Developing interest in your favorite recreational activities, learning to be proficient in them, and joining you in those activities. If any prove to be unpleasant to your spouse after an effort has been made, negotiating new recreational activities that are mutually enjoyable.

5. Honesty & Openness: Revealing positive and negative feelings, events of the past, daily events and schedule, plans for the future; not leaving you with a false impression; answering your questions truthfully.

6. Attractiveness of Spouse: Keeping physically fit with diet and exercise; wearing hair, clothing, and (if female) makeup in a way that you find attractive and tasteful.

7. Financial Support: Provision of the financial resources to house, feed, and clothe your family at a standard of living acceptable to you, but avoiding travel and working hours that are unacceptable to you.

8. Domestic Support: Creation of a home environment for you that offers a refuge from the stress of life; managing the home and care of the children- if any are at home – including but not limited to cooking meals, washing dishes, washing and ironing clothes, and housecleaning.

9. Family Commitment: Scheduling sufficient time and energy for the moral and educational development of your children; reading to them, taking them on frequent outings, educating himself or herself in appropriate child-training methods and discussing those methods with you; avoiding and child-training method or disciplinary action that does not have your enthusiastic support.

10. Admiration: Respecting, valuing, and appreciating you; rarely critical; and expressing admiration to you clearly and often.

HER Top 5 Emotional Needs (on average):
1. Affection                                                                    
2. Conversation
3. Honesty & Openness
4. Financial Support
5. Family Commitment

HIS Top 5 Emotional Needs (on average):
1. Sexual Fulfillment
2. Recreational Companionship
3. Attractiveness of Spouse
4. Domestic Support
5. Admiration

Becoming an Irresistible Man to your Wife:

1. Affection. Her husband tells her that he loves her with words, cards, flowers, gifts, and common courtesies. He hugs and kisses her many times each day, creating an environment of affection that clearly and repeatedly expresses his love for her.

2. Conversation. He sets aside time every day to talk to her. They may talk about events in their lives, their children, their feelings, or their plans. But whatever the topic, she enjoys the conversation because it is never judgmental, always informative and constructive. She talks to him as much as she would like, and responds with interest. He is never too busy “to just talk.”

3. Honesty and Openness. He tells her everything about himself, leaving nothing out that might later surprise her. He describes his positive and negative feelings, events of his past, his daily schedule, and his plans for the future. He never leaves her with a false impression and is truthful about his thoughts, feelings, intentions, and behavior.

4. Financial Support. He assumes the responsibility to house, feed, and clothe the family. If his income is insufficient to provide essential support, he resolves the problem by upgrading his skills to increase his salary. He does not work long hours, keeping himself from his wife and family, but is able to provide necessary support by working a 40-45 hour week. While he encourage his wife to pursue a career, he does not depend on her salary for family living expenses.

5. Family Commitment. He commits sufficient time and energy to the moral and educational development of the children. He reads to them, engages in sports with them, and takes them on frequent outings. He reads books and attends lectures with his wife on the subject of child development so that they will do a good job training the children. He and she discuss training methods and objectives until they agree. He does not proceed with any plan of training discipline without her approval. He recognizes that his care of the children is critically important to her.

Becoming an Irresistible Woman to your Husband:

1. Sexual Fulfillment. His wife meets this need by becoming a terrific sexual partner. She studies her own sexual response to recognize and understand what brings out the best in her; then she shares this information with him, and together they learn to have a sexual relationship that both find repeatedly satisfying and enjoyable.

2. Recreational Companionship. She develops an interest in the recreational activities he enjoys most and tries to become proficient at them. If she finds she cannot enjoy them, she encourages him to consider other activities that they can enjoy together. She becomes his favorite recreational companion, and he associates her with his most enjoyable moments of relaxation.

3. Physical Attractiveness. She keeps herself physically fit with diet and exercise, and she wears her hair, makeup, and clothes in a way that he finds attractive and tasteful. He is attracted to her in private and proud of her in public.

4. Domestic Support. She creates a home that offers him a refuge from the stresses of life. She manages the household responsibilities in a way that encourages him to spend time at home enjoying his family.

5. Admiration. She understands and appreciates him more than anyone else. She reminds him of his value and achievements and helps him maintain self-confidence. She avoids criticizing him. She is proud of him, not out of duty, but from a profound respect for the man she chose to marry.